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Therapy?
It's okay to be an obsessive Keith fan. Really, it is. It's even okay if you possess more than five of the signs on Are You Moonie
Obsessed?. But the things listed here may point towards a mental illness. As the title implies, you may need therapy if any of these apply to you. Everything listed here is representative of at least one fan I've come across either in real life or on the internet fan community. I'm not exaggerating at all, which means these people are really out there and we should all be terrified. 1. You get overly-emotional at the mention of Keith's death I get sad, too, when I think about Keith dying way back in 1978 (before the idea of me even existed). I get sadder, though, when I think about my grandpa dying when I was eight. Bottom line: as important as Keith feels to you, you are but a fan living thirty years after his death. He is not family, and the two of you share no connection. At all. A television show discussing the exact details of Keith Moon's death should not bring you to hysterical tears. Save your tears for when your dog Skippy dies. 2. You choose to ignore Keith's flaws I say this with nothing but love for the man: Keith Moon was kind of a dick. For starts, he was a crappy dad. He barely paid attention to his only child. Secondly, he got drunk constantly and beat the hell out of his wife. Not only that, but he paraded women into his home and slept with them, sometimes while his wife was home. Can we all agree that this is the behavior of a dick? Way too many of his young fans like to excuse this behavior and say "He was a really nice guy, and he only did those bad things when he was drunk!" So if you're a drunk famous guy, that makes ADULTERY, SPOUSAL BATTERY, and CHILD NEGLECT okay? If some white trash guy in Alabama acted the way Keith Moon did, we'd all call him a terrible person. The same rules apply to dead British drummers, so stop saying that Keith was perfect despite his enormous faults as a person. 3. You honestly believe Two Sides Of The Moon is the greatest album you've ever heard Really?! I mean....really?!?! If you enjoy this album for any reason other than the sheer novelty of hearing Keith and Co. having some drunken fun, you're an r-tard. Listen to it once and have a laugh on Keith, but if you put this album into your listening rotation, you have no taste in music. And if you tell people it's the greatest album ever, you're insane. People will laugh at you (assuming they're even familiar with this obscurity). On the list of greatest albums ever made, Two Sides Of The Moon would not make the list. It wouldn't even just miss the cut. So stop thinking your adoration of Keith's only album somehow makes you a bigger fan. It doesn't. It makes you an asshole. 4. You consider Keith your guardian angel I'm not making this up; I actually read a journal entry where somebody called Keith Moon their guardian angel. I don't even know what to say to that. Assuming there's an afterlife, what makes you think that a dead drummer, who had hundreds of adoring fans, is going to single you out and watch over your daily life? You have to be on drugs, or else very, very stupid, to actually believe this. 5. You explain away all of Keith's faults by saying "Oh, it was the pills and the alcohol" Oh, I see. So since Keith chose to ingest assorted pills and wash them down with a couple of brandys, then he isn't responsible for his actions? Someone should give that message to all the people doing time for a DUI charge. Two words: bull shit. I can't believe anyone can attempt to excuse his awful behavior by saying he was blocked up with drugs and alcohol. If anything, it makes him more accountable for his actions. Keith's drunken behavior must have been pointed out to him a thousand times by his friends and family, and he solved the problem by upping his dosages. That kind of makes him a thoughtless douche. 6. You believe you share a special bond with Keith This one makes me laugh out loud. More and more I'm finding these deranged fans who seem to think they share some kind of special relationship with Keith. This is retarded on several counts: first off, HE'S DEAD. Keith isn't forging relationships with anyone except other dead guys. Secondly, much like those people who believe Keith is there guardian angel, there is a certain arrogance in believing that the man chose YOU, out of his hundreds of thousands of fans, to share a deeper bond with. You aren't special to Keith, and you never will be, because he's DEAD. So I suggest you get over it. |
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